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It won't always feel the way it does now. You won't always cry as much as you do now. Grief keeps changing. Somehow you grow around it. Just keep on, one day at a time. Lots of people find the second year is a tough one. I have to agree with that. But you will survive it and there is good to come, even in the midst of grief.
What did you eat today? I lost a lot of weight after my husband died. I was thin and fit when he left. I looked terrible six months later. I still have a problem gaining weight, but at least I now have a healthy, varied diet. I get to eat things like ice cream, too. Anything to gain a pound.
What did you eat today? I lost a lot of weight after my husband died. I was thin and fit when he left. I looked terrible six months later. I still have a problem gaining weight, but at least I now have a healthy, varied diet. I get to eat things like ice cream, too. Anything to gain a pound.
I eat way too much ice cream. Only now I don't have him handing me a bowl.
I thought that I would lose weight but the opposite is happening. I eat healthy for the most part, I don't eat processed foods, very little junk-but ice cream. I know, I need to cut down on the ice cream.
I have decided that I am going to try one of those ready meals weight loss programs. But this week the Universe has helped with my weight loss program. I am fighting a bug- sore throat, fever, etc. So I haven't been eating too much and my weight is going down. And the ice cream feels so good on my sore throat.
It has been 6 months since I lost my husband/best friend/the Love of my Life. We were usually on the same wavelength, thinking the same thing at the same time. We rarely fought. We joked about having our semiannual argument, but it was often less than that.
I was part of a binary system- two planets hold each other in place. But now that other body is not there and I don't feel grounded. I feel so lost. There are days where I don't know what to do.
I now live alone in a big house. I don't drive (I am legally blind) and I don't work. So I am home all day, most days. I try to keep myself busy by decluttering the house. Well, decluttering my stuff. I haven't really touched his stuff. (It took me I don't know how many weeks before I was able to wash our sheets. I know it sounds like an eww. I sure there are people here will understand it.) I am also doing retail therapy. But most of the stuff I am buying is for the house. Before, I would ask his opinion on what I buy. Now, I don't have that second opinion.
I try to read 10 books a year. I had finished 3 and was on #4 when...I haven't been able to read since. I tried. One book, I couldn't even get through the intro. I am just gonna have to forgive myself for not reaching my annual goal.
I don't have any kids of my own but I have 4 stepkids & 8 grandkids. The closest is an hour & a half away. For Thanksgiving, we celebrated at a restaurant close by. I offered here. They made every excuse except the real one. He isn't here. By not coming here they can continue to live in denial unlike me. And my stepdaughter offered to host Christmas even though I already did.
I have a dear friend who has become my chauffeur. She takes me to the grocery store every week. Sometimes we do other things together. She is also my massage therapist.
I am picking up all of the things he did-taking out the garbage, watering the plants, and cooking. That is the hardest. Half the time I don't cook-I just nosh. The only thing that delivers here is pizza. It is taking me a while to realize I can do whatever I want and when I want. Early this morning, I had to remind myself that I could turn on the light to find something.
I cry everyday. I don't hold back the tears. I have cried as I go grocery shopping, I have cried when I was scheduling my mammogram, I cried when I took my cats to the vet for their annuals, and I have cried talking to family & friends on the phone. I almost made it through one day without crying but then the tears came about quarter to midnight.
When people ask me how I am doing, I tell them, "I'm ok. Not great but ok. One day at a time."
I have put sticky notes all over the house that says "Just Keep Swimming."
So it has been 6 months. It seems like it was just yesterday but yet it seems like it has been forever. I am amazed at all the things that has happened since he left us. And all the things I wanted to talk to him about.
Thank you for letting share my thoughts. And I will continue to Just Keep Swimming.
Cat
So much of this resonates with me. It hasn't been 6 months, but almost 3 weeks since I lost my husband. I'm sleeping the the guest room, but one day I want to be able to crawl into "our" bed just to feel and smell him around me, so I haven't touched the sheets either. We have a long steep driveway, and when I tried to take the trash and recycling barrels to the street the incline and weight almost sent me flying. I'll only have to deal with that once or twice a month, I don't generate much trash. I do work full time, so I get out every day. It's returning home to this big empty house that hurts. And, my husband also did all the cooking. Right now I have no appetite, but at some point I'll have to fend for myself in the kitchen. Thank you for posting.
Oh so sorry for your loss friends. I know it is hard. I am still finding it hard to focus on reading, YEARS later. I did ok for a bit, then lost it. It will return.
It always feels strange when you do the job your spouse used to do. It feels wrong. So much feels wrong. But it will improve.
I eat way too much ice cream. Only now I don't have him handing me a bowl.
I thought that I would lose weight but the opposite is happening. I eat healthy for the most part, I don't eat processed foods, very little junk-but ice cream. I know, I need to cut down on the ice cream.
I have decided that I am going to try one of those ready meals weight loss programs. But this week the Universe has helped with my weight loss program. I am fighting a bug- sore throat, fever, etc. So I haven't been eating too much and my weight is going down. And the ice cream feels so good on my sore throat.
Cat
It was stress, but I got sick often for a while after my husband died.
It was stress, but I got sick often for a while after my husband died.
I was sick when my husband died. It was a virus that he got while in the hospital and he gave it to me. It was his last gift to me. The day after he died, I went to say good morning to the family and absolutely nothing came out. Not even a squeak. Not only did I lose my husband but I also lost my voice. It started to come back a little bit later in the day. It wasn't until weeks later when it was back to normal.
I keep thinking that this bug is on the way out only to have setbacks. There is a lot of stuff that I want to do but it is hard when I just want to go back to bed.
Cat
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The day after he died, I went to say good morning to the family and absolutely nothing came out. Not even a squeak. Not only did I lose my husband but I also lost my voice. It started to come back a little bit later in the day. It wasn't until weeks later when it was back to normal. 