Ex Father in law died

[Bearsdad]

Last week my ex fil died. I haven't talked to him or his wife for 10 years or so, at the wishes of my ex wife and her new husband. I didn't go the the funeral and I have been waiting for the smoke clear before I sneek over to where he's buried to pay my respects. I am not sure how her family would react if they caught me at his grave. I wasn't painted in a good picture years ago to make what she did not look so bad on her part and I am not sure how her siblings feel about me.

I would love to send my ex mother in law a sympathy card but am torn on what to do. They loved and supported me when their daughter left for the guy she's married to now. But I really don't want to cause any problems with her or her family. It's sad to know he died and was buried and I have to sit back and not be a part of it. I guess that part of being an ex, but it doesn't mean it any easier.

[KathrynAragon]

I would visit his grave if you like and I would for sure send a sympathy card. Just sign it and drive on. It will give you some closure, and it may mean a lot to his wife. I'd personally wait a few weeks though. The first two weeks is a blur.

[Gerania]

Waiting a bit to visit the grave is a good idea. You don't want to run into each other.

Absolutely send a card and write a personal note. I cherished every one that I received after my husband died.

[KaraG]

Respecting the wishes of everyone in an ex-relationship can be tricky. If you have children, they lost their grandpa. That could be the first death they've had to deal with and as the other parent, you can help provide them with emotional support. Later I would send a card to their grandma.

[sera]

Do send a card, especially comforting is the memory you had of him, the memories of them as a couple. The 2 cards I did receive telling me of what they remember of Bruce was so special.