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Don’t let a quarrel with your wife right before her death haunt you. I understand, but you need to find a way to settle this with her.
Could you visit her grave, bring her favorite flowers or sweets and tell her that you sorry about a quarrel and that you wish you could take it back; tell her you love her.
After that wait for signs: her favorite song is playing or you see a woman on the street wearing a something very similar to your wife’s favorite piece of clothing or in her favorite color - something like that…
She knew/knows that she was the only woman in your life and that you love her.
. . .
Deal with your trauma but concentrate on the well being of your daughters - they are at a difficult age in strange times.
Hopefully their aunts are there for them. Visit them often if you can.
Someday you may meet a kindred spirit woman to become your partner. Your wife would not want you to go through your life alone, you would get her blessing to have a second chance at another loving relationship
If you saw this guy in person would you say it to his face? It is easy to "tut-tut" someone from the safety of anonymity.
it's not "tut tutting" and it has nothing to do with "safety of anonymity." He posted on a public forum specific details and that is inviting comment, discussion, feedback and input. The thread is titled his "journey through life, loss, and fatherhood" and it includes also his journey through infidelity. Readers have generously shared their own views, and their own personal experiences which are related to the topic. Since this is a public forum, the benefits of the discussion are not just for or about the one person who posted his story, but for all the thousands of readers and many thousands of times the post is read. i still get comments and direct messages from posts i made years and years ago on CD. people reading also reflect on their own situations when reading these posts, so many lives are touched and many people are influenced. For the most part people are being sincere and thoughtful in their posts and responses, including pointing out what may be uncomfortable aspects to hear. But they are still sincere and heartfelt.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 07-19-2023 at 09:36 PM..
My oldest son was adopted by my second husband when he was 4. This was in 1977 and back then they did alter his birth certificate. It didn’t matter because I didn’t want him to forget that he was adopted and then it would be a shock later.
When he turned 18 I gave him all the information he needed to find his biological dad. He never had an interest in doing that but it was his decision. He considers my second husband to be his only dad and is glad to have his name even though we have been divorced since he was 24.
The danger of a parent allowing adoption is that in the event of a divorce the adoptive parent can fight for custody. I understand why the OP wasn’t willing to risk it. The downside for the adopter is that they could end up paying child support for a child that isn’t theirs.
My oldest son was adopted by my second husband when he was 4. This was in 1977 and back then they did alter his birth certificate. It didn’t matter because I didn’t want him to forget that he was adopted and then it would be a shock later.
When he turned 18 I gave him all the information he needed to find his biological dad. He never had an interest in doing that but it was his decision. He considers my second husband to be his only dad and is glad to have his name even though we have been divorced since he was 24.
The danger of a parent allowing adoption is that in the event of a divorce the adoptive parent can fight for custody. I understand why the OP wasn’t willing to risk it. The downside for the adopter is that they could end up paying child support for a child that isn’t theirs.
Maybe it varies by state. My brother was adopted in 1969 and I don't believe his birth certificate was altered. Anyway, he was Asian and always knew he was adopted.
I know that it has been awhile since I posted on here, as I am busy focusing on my kids and job. However, I just wanted to give a quick life update.
My late first wife's married best friend (who is an important part of my kids' lives) introduced me to a divorced mother of three and we hit it off. She was a former All-American Swimmer at Clemson and is a up and coming physician.
I am hoping and keeping faith that this will go well.
I know that it has been awhile since I posted on here, as I am busy focusing on my kids and job. However, I just wanted to give a quick life update.
My late first wife's married best friend (who is an important part of my kids' lives) introduced me to a divorced mother of three and we hit it off. She was a former All-American Swimmer at Clemson and is a up and coming physician.
I am hoping and keeping faith that this will go well.
good deal, it is nice to read a good outcome and promising future prospects in this thread.
as has been mentioned before, just keep swimming!
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