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Maybe God just doesn't care either way. Maybe God doesn't micro-manage your life to the extent of 'calling' you to be single or married or what job or career you will have. Maybe that's strictly up to you.
Maybe.
I understand that I have free will and can choose to marry or not. But as a Christian I thought God wants relationship with us and to me a relationship with Him means involving Him in decisions such as whether to marry (as one example). Thinking about it this way, it's only natural (I think) for me to ponder what His will is for me.
What you haven't said is whether you want to be married. Are you or were you ever "looking" for a spouse? Are you satisfied with your life as a single woman? God doesn't just tell us these things straight out, but the combination of our desires and the path our lives take lets us know what his will for us is.
I am actually unsure. Some days "I think I do"..other days I think I'd be ok never marrying.
I can't say I'd ever truly been "looking" for a spouse. (The reasons for this are a bit personal though and mostly rooted in beliefs I had about myself that somewhat shut me off from ever even thinking about it/considering it much honestly.)
You have really closed your mind off to a wonderful gift. Marriage is the perfect vehicle for learning LOVE.
Child-bearing is absolutely NOT the sole purpose of marriage. And to say so is to not understand this aspect of our Creator, imho.
Marriage is being intimately involved, body, mind and soul with another human being. To mirror back and forth, to go through challenges and struggles, triumphs and victories, to learn HOW to LOVE. To learn what LOVE is and to put that learning into action. To keep going when things get tough, to help each other, to learn to be kind, selfless, long-suffering, everything that LOVE is.... like I said, to mirror back and forth. It is one of the most beautiful things when two people can learn what LOVE truly is, deeply in their souls. To slough off the shallow and fleeting and to discover and value the deep and everlasting. God is LOVE. We learn the substance of God. We learn what LOVE is and what love is not. We learn what God is and what God is not.
To the OP. Keep your mind and your heart open. You do not know what the future holds. If you think God has "chosen" something for you.... what if you are wrong? Take life as it comes and do not put yourself in a box.
I have a Christian friend or 2 that want to remarry and when I ask them why they state because they don't want to be alone. Lately however I've been wondering is that a good sole reason to marry?
IMO it's never a good and certainly not a sufficient reason to marry.
Being alone and being lonely are two very different things, even though they can influence each other. If you marry to solve loneliness then you are depending on the other person to fill a lack within yourself. And I think the odds are high that you would end up ultimately disappointing each other. Perhaps counterintuitively, I think that being okay with being alone is almost a prerequisite for being capable of relating in a healthy way with someone else, with appropriate interpersonal boundaries. Because you are not coming to them out of a place of neediness. You are two complete, mature people choosing interdependence rather than dependence.
IMO it's never a good and certainly not a sufficient reason to marry.
Being alone and being lonely are two very different things, even though they can influence each other. If you marry to solve loneliness then you are depending on the other person to fill a lack within yourself. And I think the odds are high that you would end up ultimately disappointing each other. Perhaps counterintuitively, I think that being okay with being alone is almost a prerequisite for being capable of relating in a healthy way with someone else, with appropriate interpersonal boundaries. Because you are not coming to them out of a place of neediness. You are two complete, mature people choosing interdependence rather than dependence.
I agree. My late fiance and I both desired a relationship, but we were also both OK being on our own and of the mind that we would rather be independent than in the relationships either of us had previously. In fact, one of the best parts of that relationship was that both of us recognized the need for times of having our own space, and we allowed that for ourselves. If I am ever in another relationshio, I would have to have that again.
To answer the title question..."because we got engaged and made plans to marry and then God killed him."
Or so I would have believed at one time. Now I know, as one of our posters said, it's just biology.
I think the question arises out of curiosity of what God wants for me. It arises because sometimes I get a little lonely and also am not sure I want to live my older years out alone. And sometimes I do also wonder if I'd be "glorifying God more/better" in a Christian marriage where I have a partner that lives by the Word and shares the desire to put God first.
I'm not burning with the desire to be married.
The underlined is how I took your inquiry - which is how I process many things also. Which is why I responding by delighting yourself in Him and spending alone time with God.
Question for you - are you lonely in general, or do you still do life with friends and take occasional trips, or are you involved in some sort of sport group, or garden group, or industry group where you are regularly in relationships with others?
I do think finding a partner that glorifies God and puts Him first would be the better option.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan
I don't want to be married because others are. I say that because I don't really see marriages around me that make me want to get married.
Marriage can be hard work at times just because that's just what it is with two imperfect together in a marital relationship. I've been married for 30 yrs. I could give you an earful of ups and downs. Also in this culture, the idea of marriage is not supported - so that can make marriage look unappealing as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan
I am Black, however, I do not see it as relevant to the topic.
I'm black also and in many cases (not all) black women would prefer black men - but it sounds like that's not the case for you, which is fine.
I think this is a beautiful love story of two people both in their 40's, and previously never married (actors no less), who came together it seems through divine providence.
"Soon after filming the third season of Law & Order: SVU, Hermann asked Hargitay to attend a church service with him. "We went to church together, and it was like getting hit with a lightning bolt," Hargitay told People. "I just started sobbing. Peter thought I was crying because I was so moved by the service. No, it was because I was just overwhelmed, realizing he was the one."
On August 28, 2004, Hargitay and Hermann married after two years of dating. In an interview with People, Hermann recalled the moment when he realized he wanted to marry Hargitay.
"It was Mariska's birthday, 40th birthday," he said. "And I actually saw Mariska with all of the people that she loved around her. It was like seeing this person who was now in the soil, that she was just dying to be planted in it. Right? Which was this abundance of people and this abundance of love and I thought, 'I want to be part of that soil.' And that was the moment when I had not just parted the soil, but to be a lot of the soil."
as my friend would say,
you're exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.
otherwise, you'd be somewhere else, doing something else.
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