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This has been an incredibly sad thread, yet I had to read every single post. My mother is in a nursing home, just over a year now, dementia, but her initial admittance was from a hospital after she had fallen again.
She has had several diagnosed UTI's and it's gotten to the point where I know she has one. Her delusions get a little wilder. She talks about seeing her old boyfriends later that night. All sorts of stuff. She gets flares of anger (I feel I am constantly redirecting some visits). And I stop and ask the nursing staff if she's been tested for a UTI lately. She hasn't hit anyone yet, but she has tried to escape twice (she claims she's going to catch the bus), so now she's in a lockdown ward. I fear for the future.
Ever wonder why these elderly people get frequent UTI's?
Because the staff deliberately withholds fluids. They DC IV's, take away water pitchers, etc
Why? Because toileting is the nursing's staff's main chore---either help the patient to the toilet, or help with a bedpan, or drain catheters, or change diapers. Its at least 50% of the staff's main chores, they shave it down by restricting fluids.
Many years ago, I was in the hospital recovering from a hip replacement. I was under strict orders NOT to get out of bed for ANY reason, including bathroom, so I literally had no choice but to "bother" the nurses by putting on the light to go to the bathroom. Well,I don't know why, but seems I urinated about every hour, probably the IV which was kept on a KVO -- keep vein open ---- rate. I needed IV antibiotics every 4 hours, and my veins were simply too weak to keep open without a steady drip of saline. Oh, did they get hateful! They actually came in and said we've never seen anyone go so much as you, what are you doing, you must have some booze in here! Search if you like, but WTH would I have booze within my reach if I couldn't even turn over or sit up? Then, they took my water pitcher away, they said you don't need to lay there drinking water all night long to keep us hopping! Hey, they hadn't refilled it in hours, I clearly wasn't drinking excessive water! Then they told me they "weren't going to put up with that" with what, doing their job? and said they would put me in a diaper if I wanted to pee so much. Hey, remember I had just had a hip replacement and infection? Perfect, let the patient lay in pee with a fresh, infected incision.
It was sheer hell----the next day I called the doctor's office, and the hospital administration and complained, got transferred to another hospital But, I was young, coherent, educated, articulate, knew how and to whom to complain. Not like some poor, 90+ year-old who can't even talk.
I've been in hospitals many times since, and usually they get annoyed with toileting "excessively" like the patient has any control over it. I've decided, when the time comes, I will NOT spend my final days as such. I will commit suicide rather than go like that.......that's my attonment for "bothering" the overworked, underpaid nurses that would rather sit at the desk reading magazines than do their job!
Next time, try to find out the patient load of your aides/nurses. Where I work, at a LTC/Rehab facility, we're forbidden from telling the residents our patient load or we can be suspended/fired for that! Reason for that: it could strike fear in the residents, particularly if I told them the truth: 25 patients to take care of that night!
If, you can find out the patient load, and the patient load is quite bearable, then you have reasons to complain!
I won't argue, being in this profession, there's untold number of lazy nurses/aides, who would rather be at the nursing desk with their Smartphones playing Candy Crush!
But check your attitude as well! Some people have a devil of a time showing any kind of compassion for the staff, and just can't spit out the words Thank-You or Please!
How many times have I come to someone's room and dictatorially, they command: I'm wet! Change my diaper! Take me to the bathroom! All in a Hitler-ian fashion!
My favorite residents: "I so hate to put you through this, you have such a tough job, but would you please take the time and effort to change my diaper, take me to the bathroom, if you can? I would so appreciate it! I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you!" Ah! Some longed-for compassion from a resident! And with these grateful types I'll do just about anything for them!
My favorite residents: "I so hate to put you through this, you have such a tough job, but would you please take the time and effort to change my diaper, take me to the bathroom, if you can? I would so appreciate it! I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you!" Ah! Some longed-for compassion from a resident! And with these grateful types I'll do just about anything for them!
Really?! isn't this part of your, um job?
I understand it's a give and take, but do patients have to practically kiss the ground you walk on to get the care they need?
ETA: And who's to say they are NOT having visits in their sleep from their deceased husbands and mothers. IT's almost a form of passage, some might say.
It is so sad to read these stories. Just heart-breaking!
As a nurse I see both sides. I work per diem in a nursing home and we have "great" staffing according to most LTC home standards. Day shift is 1 nurse and 2 aides per 20 residents. My job is basically to dispense all of the resident's meds, assess them for changes in status and in between I will help with answering call bells etc. But, imagine 2 aides have to wash and dress 10 people each to get them ready for the day. They are running around like maniacs all day trying to get to all of the residents. If 3 people have to pee at once well at least one of them will end up having an accident. That then takes more time and more residents are left waiting. It's a vicious cycle.
Now imagine one high needs resident...one who need constant supervision for safety reasons...one who is violent or hallucinating or whatever else was mentioned. Well they don't send us another aide for a 1:1 when this happens so guess what? Now we have 1 aide for the 20 residents. The problem is staffing ratios. The poor residents suffer because there are not enough staff. If someone falls or injures themselves or someone else on our watch we go through hell doing all the paperwork, risk our licenses, risk being sued etc. So "problem" patients are a major liability and that is why they are dumped or blacklisted. It's sad but what else can really be done? I don't have a solution. It's just sad all around...
Unless all a facilities beds are dual certified, which is often the case.
Sad, but true. A patient in an SNF for rehab cannot even have a few days off for a sore throat and a cold without jeopardizing their Medicare funding.
Right, and I totally understand that; no worries! I was just saying that the staff -- having gotten a taste of her "feistiness" -- made sure she was speeded directly to the worst room off the worst hallway in the worst wing of the entire facility, so we were out of there QT! It was all good; thankful to have her home.
I know that working with the elderly and disabled can be a thankless job, and most of the people that choose to it are probably underpaid. I can't even imagine the patience that's needed, but it really seems like there are people in this line of work who shouldn't be there....Like Rusty said, It's just sad all around.
Windwalker: My husband and I are seriously considering a move to Oregon in a few years. We may take my (almost 80 year old) father with us, if he's game. Coincidently, Netflix occasionally suggests the documentary, How to Die in Oregon in my queue. Maybe it's time to finally watch it.
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