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A friend of the family was diagnosed with cancer. He doesn't want to go through chemotherapy. He said that he would rather "go" than subject his body to chemo. (He is physically handicapped and cannot walk without the aid of crutches... I don't know if this is what contributes to this perspective?)
Everyone is different and someone who is disabled, that already deals with limitations and life issues SHOULD have a say in what he wants done in his life. It's his choice, his decision. You need to respect that. I know it's hard. But there's no guarantee his cancer will be cured and the chemo and therapy isn't easy for anyone. Even harder for someone who is disabled. I can understand his decision. I hope he's mentally stable and aware, that it wasn't a quick answer but well thought out. This will impact him, his family, and friends. I hope he has his final wishes in order and all those other documents.
What may ease your mind is talking this out, that he's on the right track and making the right choice for the right reasons. What most don't think about is chemo poisons the body. It's very difficult to go through. He may not have the mind set to tolerate that on top of everything else. I hope it isn't the expense. Again, talk to him.
I had a relative who was diagnosed with lung cancer when she was eighty. She didn't feel she was mentally or physically up to chemo. She said she was also ready to join her husband who had passed a few months before.
Her adult children had a very difficult time accepting this, but she was firm in her decision. She signed all the papers for palliative care, and changed her medical POA to a friend who promised to honor her wishes as to how she wanted to spend her final days. They were hurt that she felt the need to go outside the family for help at the end of her life.
Now, twenty years later, her children are getting up in age and they have a new understanding of her choices. They regret not accepting her decision, and wish they'd been more supportive from the start. They even admit that had one of them been charged with her medical POA, she may have had more life prolonging treatments than she desired.
Don't know the details of your friend's situation, but it's his body, his life, and his choice. If his prognosis is fairly positive with treatment you might try encouraging him to get some counseling to make sure he isn't making the decision out of general depression, but other than that, as mortpes said, accept it.
Thank you, everyone. I do think that these words were coming from a place of general depression. It's hard to accept but I know it's the right thing to do. I am sorry you had to struggle through chemo or watch loved ones go through this.
A friend of the family was diagnosed with cancer. He doesn't want to go through chemotherapy. He said that he would rather "go" than subject his body to chemo. (He is physically handicapped and cannot walk without the aid of crutches... I don't know if this is what contributes to this perspective?)
How do we deal with this?
Respect it! Im not disabled but I dont think Id go thru chemo. My body. My life. My choice. His body. His life. His choice.
I understand.
What happens to a person who refuses to go through chemo? Is there a lot of suffering?
Far as I know it depends on the type of cancer but the drs on here could answer that question. Not to mention but chemo creates alot of suffering for some people. Its even been known to kill people, not the cancer.
And we do have drugs for pain relief and hospice.
I understand how you feel, I really do, but its his choice. Try to let go of what you would do. That old saying about its not until you can walk a mile in someone else’s shoes that you can understand their decisions etc. is so true. Hard to do. Im sorry.
You should accept it. I have had 25 chemo treatments and i can say the program is no fun.Respect the choice.
A friend declined further treatment last year after a couple years of treating a very aggressive prostate cancer. I didn't understand why (well actually I did, it kept recurring and he was a shell of what he had been) but accepted his decision.
I wish I had $1 for every friend who endured chemo and racked up HUGE medical bills and at the end was told........." there is no more we can do for you"
The chemo bought him a few months of extended life, but it sure wasn't much of a life.
Their suffering at the "end" was the same as those who refused treatment.
Both those who refused treatment and those that had chemo had the benefit of very strong pain killers at the end and were on Hospice.
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