The Pressure to Have an "Amazing" Retirement (spouses, state, blogging)
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I'm just approaching mine (later this year) and am already feeling performance anxiety from those promising that my retirement will be "amazing" because theirs is. The pervasive attitude seems to be that of prisoners let out of jail after serving a long sentence at hard labor or lottery winners whose every dream will now come true. Like with every aspect of life now, there seems to be a running competition on social media with every retiree claiming to have a more "amazing" retirement than the next retiree, many of them blogging or posting their "amazing" adventures on You Tube as if anyone cares to follow. It's almost as if one must become a "star."
I actually don't anticipate that my retirement will be all that "amazing." I don't loath and despise my job or my daily routine and am not counting the minutes and suffering until it ends. I haven't deferred all pleasure and adventure until retirement, instead making the most of my time off work to pursue my hobbies and goals. Like all transitions to different stages of life, I'm expecting it to be a challenging adjustment -- not necessarily an effortless one -- and will bring both good and bad changes to my life. Parts of it I look forward to and other parts I'm anxious about. I know there will be new things to enjoy, but also things lost that I will miss about my working life. And I wish people would quit telling me "You will absolutely love it!!!" because it's overkill. Can't anyone just ease into it quietly anymore?
Last edited by otterhere; 04-21-2018 at 08:03 AM..
This is a good observation. And keep observing. It can't and won't be all roses and sunshine. Maybe they see it as one last hurrah before they end up in a nursing home? Gotta give it one last go?
Stop listening to "people". If it helps mine sucks and is pretty much miserable every single day.
Thank you; that helps. I'm relieved to hear that at least one retiree isn't deliriously happy 24/7; it seems more normal.
Did you anticipate it, and do you plan to do anything about it?
In some cases, it almost seems like a big F-U -- maybe to despised former bosses or coworkers or ex-spouses, as if they're rubbing it in someone's face. At any rate, it feels a bit forced, almost as if there's a frantic or frenetic quality. Or maybe they're just really, really good at retirement. I'm not sure that's where my greatest talent lies. Also, I can't imagine who is reading all these blogs and watching all these videos. Surely not other retirees, who are busy making their own...
Thank you; that helps. I'm relieved to hear that at least one retiree isn't deliriously happy 24/7; it seems more normal.
Did you anticipate it, and do you plan to do anything about it?
In some cases, it almost seems like a big F-U -- maybe to despised former bosses or coworkers or ex-spouses, as if they're rubbing it in someone's face. At any rate, it feels a bit forced, almost as if there's a frantic or frenetic quality. Or maybe they're just really, really good at retirement. I'm not sure that's where my greatest talent lies. Also, I can't imagine who is reading all these blogs and watching all these videos. Surely not other retirees, who are busy making their own...
If you like your job and like where you live, stay
If you like your job and like where you live, stay
As I stated, I'm not 100% happy, but I'm not 100% unhappy, either. It's time to retire, for a number or reasons. I don't wish to just keep doing what I'm doing for the rest of my life. But I think I have the realistic expectation that it will be both good and bad; not all unmitigated joy. Maybe my future is just suckier than others' because they really DO seem to be having an "amazing" time on social media. Some friends have even stolen my ideas and plans and are doing it better than I ever could; no point in competing with them.
As I stated, I'm not 100% happy, but I'm not 100% unhappy, either. It's time to retire, for a number or reasons. I don't wish to just keep doing what I'm doing for the rest of my life. But I think I have the realistic expectation that it will be both good and bad; not all unmitigated joy. Maybe my future is just suckier than others' because they really DO seem to be having an "amazing" time on social media. Some friends have even stolen my ideas and plans and are doing it better than I ever could!
Probably best to have a realistic game plan for what you will do with your time afterwards. And can you afford it.
That will give you an indication of good or bad. Not sure what others do that is considered amazing.
Yes, or we should wear bizarre outfits and parade in style, or fulfill some bucket list and advertise it on social media, etc etc . The pressure is immense and it explains how at times when I’d innocently ask someone what they were up to they would get very defensive.
I’d say if the “amazing” retirement is making them happy then more power to them. The bottom line is doing what makes us happy,unfortunately some things that makes us happy are those quiet sweet moments in life that are not fb worthy
Probably best to have a realistic game plan for what you will do with your time afterwards. And can you afford it.
That will give you an indication of good or bad. Not sure what others do that is considered amazing.
They start a new business, go back to college, they take up flying, or hike the Appalachian trail , ride in a hot air balloon, become instagram fashion icons etc etc
I am sure plenty people didn’t wait until retirement to do many of these things .
As for me, I felt sad and irrelevant after I retired. I felt as if I used to be a part of the world, and now I’m just here, with no purpose.
It’s been a few years now, and I feel fine about it now. I guess my point is, all big life changes are an adjustment.
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