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I’m a guy and am always self conscious trying on different clothings in front of people I know. The worst people are the doormen on my building! You see, me residential building has a doorman at the front door and a couple of them have been working at my building for YEARS and they know all the residents very well. And because they know me well and they see me walk in and out of the building everyday, they know me too well and what I wear everyday. And because of that, I feel self conscious trying different new things. Like I wanted to start wearing sandals over the summer a few years ago but couldn’t get myself to do it because the doorman has NEVER seen me in sandals. So for him to suddenly see me in sandals for the first time after all these years is embarrassing. And also this year, I want to start wearing sleeveless t shirts and tank tops because it gets very hot sometimes here in the summer and would like to wear something a little more comfortable during the muggy, hot weather. But again, the doorman has known me for YEARS and never seen me in sleeveless or tank top. So again, I’m very self conscious and I can’t wear what I want to wear because of that.
Anyone else go through the same trouble? And anyone know how I can get over this?
I think it would be pretty weird for a doorman, or even a friend, to notice or comment on such a thing. But let's just say the worst thing happens and he says.... "Hey Wise - new sandals?"
I don’t think he would say anything, but he might bat an eye or something. And just the fact that he notices is enough to make things feel awkward and uncomfortable for me.
I wanted to start wearing sandals over the summer a few years ago but couldn’t get myself to do it because the doorman has NEVER seen me in sandals.
So, you are stuck wearing the same style and color of show for the rest of your life in that building, because you are scared that the doorman will notice something different???
That is beyond odd.
Sounds more like a topic for the psych forum than the fashion forum.
On a somewhat related note - when I was in high school I obsessed about going through my entire wardrobe before I wore an outfit again. Had a list in my closet I followed religiously. One day a friend said, “Okey, what did I wear last Friday?” Of course I didn’t know. “Nobody’s paying any attention to what you wear, either.” Cured me of that hangup.
I don’t think he would say anything, but he might bat an eye or something. And just the fact that he notices is enough to make things feel awkward and uncomfortable for me.
Serious question, why do you think anyone would ever remember what you've worn or not worn in the past?
I think it would be pretty weird for a doorman, or even a friend, to notice or comment on such a thing. But let's just say the worst thing happens and he says.... "Hey Wise - new sandals?"
You say "yeah".
"Have a nice day"
"You too"
It's just really not an embarrassing thing to do.
Some people make a big deal out of it, though. Like, take me. Most of the time I'm wearing pants/trousers-- I'm more comfortable that way, because I don't have to worry about how I move, winds, etc. and in many cases I prefer to just wear my clothing rather than have to think about it. Heaven help me if I ever wear a skirt or dress, because then I get "You're wearing a DRESS!!!!", sometimes from multiple people. They act shocked, as if I showed up in a burqa or belly dancer costume or inflatable T-Rex costume or something else completely off-the-wall, rather than a normal piece of clothing (yes, I'm cis-female and present as female. Yes, I live in an area where it's absolutely common for women to wear pants). It's the oddest thing that people are just so flabbergasted by this. And yeah, it means sometimes I'm hesitant to wear a skirt or dress, because while I don't care what they think, I also don't feel like dealing with the reactions.
(Otherwise, I really wouldn't care even to change my style or something if people would just keep their mouths shut about it rather than making it into a huge deal or conversation, though I guess another worry is that they would see a certain style that's normally uncharacteristic and assume I'm trying to copy someone else, because I've seen that happen to people before as well.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okey Dokie
On a somewhat related note - when I was in high school I obsessed about going through my entire wardrobe before I wore an outfit again. Had a list in my closet I followed religiously. One day a friend said, “Okey, what did I wear last Friday?” Of course I didn’t know. “Nobody’s paying any attention to what you wear, either.” Cured me of that hangup.
People do notice if you wear stuff often, though. In middle school I had a favorite t-shirt. I didn't think I wore it that often until at least one person commented on it. (The worst though is that apparently I happened to be wearing it on every day that year that they happened to take yearbook photos-- like, for photos of different clubs and such? It was just a coincidence-- I still think I didn't wear it THAT often, I think not even once a week-- but it was so funny because in four or five photos... I have that shirt on.) I also didn't think it was a big deal that I wore the same sweatshirts often-- I mean, how many can you own, and since I'm always/often cold, then I'm often in a sweatshirt or fleece jacket or something. Back then I think I owned 2 or 3, didn't think much of it because in my mind, a sweatshirt was more akin to a jacket than a regular top-- you might have one in black, navy blue, brown, etc. but not nearly as many as you'd have, say, t-shirts and it wasn't a huge deal to wear it often. Until the other kids started making fun of me for wearing the same thing all the time (of course I always had a different shirt on underneath, but who knew unless/until I took the sweatshirt off).
Can't say this ever bothers me as an adult. If I was still a self-conscious, gangly adolescent, maybe. Outgrew that decades ago thank goodness! As others have already mentioned, most people are paying little to no attention to what you wear. Unless you're wearing something for attention seeking shock value. Doesn't sound as if this is the case for you OP. Even if they do remember something, what they think about it may never come to my attention...how would I ever find out? Why should I care if they unburden themselves to people I don't even know? Outspoken unkind critics tend to be people who are so miserable in their own life they can't keep their snark to themselves. I learned long ago to ignore/dismiss what unhappy jerks like that say or think anyway...because I grew up with one. One of the best life lessons ever.
Last edited by Parnassia; 05-29-2023 at 01:04 PM..
So, you are stuck wearing the same style and color of show for the rest of your life in that building, because you are scared that the doorman will notice something different???
That is beyond odd.
Sounds more like a topic for the psych forum than the fashion forum.
People really don't care what you wear!
Is it normal for people to change fashion every once in a while? Sometimes I feel like people expect me to wear the same style all the time.
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